“We did it!” The first words my Intended Mother uttered to me as she saw her baby’s face for the first time. Hands entangled and tears streaming down both of our faces. It was the moment I had waited for my whole surrogacy journey, the single moment that made everything in this process worth it at the end of a successful pregnancy.
Can a Surrogate Keep the Baby? What to Know from Experienced Surrogate
Why don’t surrogates want to keep the baby?
My motivation for being a gestational surrogate never wavered during this process however there were times that I was questioned by not only family and friends but people in general with their potential concerns. “Can a surrogate keep the baby?” ; “Don’t you think it will be hard to give up the baby?” ; “I don’t think I could ever just give a baby.” The answer to these questions was always easy. “This isn’t my baby and I’m certainly not giving it up. I’m giving baby back to a family that has wanted, hoped and dreamed for it.”
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What is the screening process to become a surrogate?
As a surrogate, there are multiple steps in the screening process to ensure that she is of sound mind and body before embarking on a journey. These additional steps include a full medical records review – to determine any medical issues during and after pregnancy – such as postpartum depression, a psychological screening – which includes not only a mental health evaluation with her and her partner but also PAI testing and lastly, a medical screening, with the reproductive endocrinologist at the fertility clinic – talking to the surrogate about why she wants to do this and the risks associated with it.
I came to surrogacy when my family was complete. I had given birth to 2 bio children or “keepers” –
easily and successfully. My body handled pregnancy extremely well, but I had zero motivation to have
any more of my own children. However, I had huge motivation to help someone else. A little backstory
about my reason for doing gestational surrogacy?
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Why do women decide to become surrogates?
I have a close family member, like a sister – who struggled with infertility. Years of testing, procedures
and finally a diagnosis of severe endometriosis – unfortunately robbed her of the ability to have her own children. This took a huge emotional toll on her marriage, and it ultimately ended in divorce. Standing witness to that and seeing the amount of devastation that infertility can cause was my motivation behind the journey. If I could save one family the sadness and emotional distress – then it was my civic duty to make a family’s dream come true. I try to instill the importance of giving back and helping everyone you can to my children. This was simply just an extension of that.
Do surrogates become emotionally attached to surrogate pregnancy?
The big emotional attachment I formed throughout the journey? It wasn’t with the baby, but instead with the intended mother and intended father. They were strangers who quickly became family. We developed a natural and organic friendship – filled with mutual respect and understanding. They are great people and I’m honored to be a part of their story and surrogacy journey. We still talk, FaceTime and occasionally meet up. I consider them a pair of lifelong friends and couldn’t be happier to enjoy some baby snuggles every once in a while!
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Contact Family Makers to Become a Surrogate Today
Interested in making Intended Parents’ dreams come true? Become a surrogate with the help of Family Makers Surrogacy. Take our 3-minute quiz to find out if you qualify, learn about the compensation and benefits of being a surrogate mother, and the requirements of surrogacy if you choose to become one. If you are ready to sign up to be a surrogate, then you can apply to become a surrogate using our online application. We look forward to hearing from you and connecting you to one of our wonderful Intended Parents.