“Norma Jeane, do you know what’s in Mommy’s belly?” The teacher asks. Without skipping a beat, my quick witted 4 year old points and replies, “Yep, that’s Greg.”
This is the conversation about surrogacy that took place the night of my daughter’s preschool registration. With a blank stare, the teacher looked to me for confirmation. “Greg? Is that the name of your new baby?” Confusion set in when I shook my head no. “I’m a surrogate and this is not our baby.” A smile quickly crested her face as she completely understood the situation with one small sentence. But, how should you explain surrogacy to your kids? Continue reading this blog post from the experts at Family Makers to learn some top tips for explaining surrogacy to kids and family.
Top Tips for Explaining Surrogacy to Kids
Get Your Kids Involved with the Surrogacy Journey
When people first learned about my surrogacy experience story common questions were always “Won’t your kids be disappointed when you don’t bring home a baby?” or “Your kids can’t possibly understand. How did you explain it to them?”
The short answer, no. The reason – my husband and I were always upfront and honest with our kids about surrogacy. From the very beginning, they were just as much a part of the journey because this affected them. Sure, they had questions when we had our first surrogacy conversations but there was nothing they couldn’t ask. They were well aware the baby in Mommy’s belly was someone else’s. They even met the Intended Parents along the surrogacy journey and we FaceTimed frequently. They knew this baby had a family that loved, wanted and cared for it as much as we did for them.
Related Post: Are You Ready? Preparing to Become a Surrogate
Play Games with Your Kids During the Surrogacy
Along the way, we took pictures of the baby bump for the Intended Parents. It was always a fun guessing game for the kids of what fruit is the baby the same size as this week? We always shared updates with them, ultrasound pictures so they could see the baby was growing. We never referred to the baby as “ours or your brother or your sister.” The endearing name “Greg?” That was my husband’s idea. Give the baby a name – make it easier for the kids to connect with, other than just using the term “Baby.”
Find Fun Ways to Explain Surrogacy to Children
It can certainly be difficult to bring up the topic of surrogacy to children. How did we explain the concept of surrogacy to the kids? We used the bread analogy. It goes a little something like this…Your neighbor has some dough that needs to be baked into bread. But at the last minute, they figure out their oven is broken and can’t be fixed. But our oven, mom’s oven – works really well and has baked bread without any problems before. So what do you say – we lend a hand and bake a loaf of bread for someone else?
We have always encouraged our children to help others in need so the idea of a surrogate pregnancy wasn’t a far stretch for them. Living life by the golden rule…Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. If mom and dad couldn’t bake bread, we certainly hope someone would be kind enough to help us.
Related Post: How Intended Parents Can Bond With Their Baby During Surrogacy
Contact Family Makers to Become a Surrogate Today
We are always looking for prospective gestational surrogates to assist our Intended Parents with starting a family. Find out about requirements to be a surrogate, potential compensation & benefits, surrogate FAQs, and much more. If you are interested in learning more about becoming a surrogate, please don’t hesitate to contact Family Makers online today.
