When you think about pregnancy, few things compare to the feeling of the baby kicking and moving for the first time. However as an Intended Parent pursuing surrogacy, bonding or feeling connected to the pregnancy can be a concern. As a former Gestational Carrier – I always found time to do some little extras, like these listed below to help the parent(s) feel close to their baby!
Even before I was showing, my IP’s had discussed taking weekly or bi-weekly bump photos. This was not only for documenting purposes, but also to keep their older children actively involved. It was always a fun guessing game at what fruit the baby would be the size of each week!
You could also make it a little combination album/journal. Print the bump photo each week and write a love letter or note to yourbaby!
This also goes hand in hand with a shared pregnancy app that tracks milestones, baby size and growth!
Playing Music or Recordings for the Baby
Babies are soothed by familiar voices and sounds that they hear in the womb. Somewhere around 20 weeks, my IP’s sent me voice recordings of them reading their favorite children’s books – this even included a recording from their daughter (which was the absolute sweetest, I swear my heart was a puddle on the floor every time I listened it to). I was able to play them through my phone for the baby to hear. At delivery, surrobabe was immediately soothed and quieted down as soon as she heard mom’s voice – it was such a magical moment!
They also make BellyBuds that the GC can put around her belly when she plays the recordings. Before bed or while she’s resting is the ideal time to play the recordings.
Familiar sounds, not just voices can make babies feel comfortable. In late pregnancy, the GC can wear a Harmony Bell Necklace. She’ll wear it during the last few weeks of pregnancy. You can also purchase one to wear after baby is born or the necklace can transfer from GC to mom when baby is born. Yourbaby will hear a familiar sound and be comforted by it. There are hundreds to choose from on Etsy – just make sure the necklace is long enough that it “bumps” against the GC’s tummy when she moves or walks.
During the medical screening process, you will also be required to undergo a psychological screening. This appointment includes a personality assessment, and will also go over your complete medical and social history. If you have a spouse or partner, they will also be involved in the screening. After you have passed, you will also have a group appointment with your Intended Parents to discuss all of the ins and outs of what to expect during the entire surrogacy process. This group session is especially important because everyone will be able to discuss their surrogacy goals, and the emotional impact of surrogacy on everyone involved.