Dear Surrogate:

My heart skips a beat thinking of you. I’m so grateful that you have chosen to become a surrogate, because without you, women like me could not fulfill their personal dreams of motherhood. Thank you for your kindness and generosity to embark on this journey, as you represent possibility and all the love that may come with it.

I’d like to tell you a little about myself (Sara). My parents individually immigrated from India to the United States in 1969. They met one another while studying at the University of Kentucky. After marrying, they had three girls, with me being the middle child. My parents, like so many immigrants, left their home country – forsaking all that they knew: love, comfort and familiarity – to live in the United States, in the pursuit of living the American dream. They wanted someplace new, someplace better, someplace where their dreams for their family could come to fruition.

My family is loving and supportive, and imparted my sisters and I with the values of compassion, mutual respect, integrity, and responsibility. I’m lucky to have such an extraordinary support system.

While my parents now personify the American dream, getting to that dream certainly came with a lot of challenges. My own challenge with becoming a mother came to light when I was diagnosed with severe diminished ovarian reserve at 32 years old. The doctor flatly told me, You cannot have your own children. To this day, those words haunt me.

At 32 years old, I was single and not even dating. So, you can probably understand that the news was utterly catastrophic. And in my gut, I knew that this news – like no other news – could potentially – and negatively – impact my ability to meet a loving man and get married.

Despite being single, I spent the next several years just trying to stimulate my follicles to make eggs. Luckily, at this time, I met that loving man I had been desiring to meet (Chris).

Let me tell you a little about Chris. He grew up in suburban Detroit, and after traveling the U.S. Southeast for his career, we met and settled in Atlanta. He is passionate about cooking, sports (especially golf), coffee, podcasts that I truly do not understand (ha), and reading. But I recognize that description could be of any man.

Aside from being my best friend, Chris truly understands and accepts me in a way no one else has, and in a way that I believe no one else can. When we first met, I had a pretty tough façade, but that armor was only out of fear of rejection. Three months into our relationship, Chris softened my tough exterior. Through his patience, calmness, and as our relationship grew, unconditional love, Chris helped me to recognize that it was okay to be just me – not the Sara I thought others wanted me to be. To that end, Chris is down-to-earth, quiet (which is frustrating since I’m pretty chatty), evenly tempered, loving, and loyal. His steady hand can temper any storm. He’s the guy who will support you through the good, the bad, and the ugly.

When Chris and I married in 2015, we were able to move forward with IVF. It felt so hopeful to graduate to the next stage. Like many women who must navigate the winding road of infertility, I embarked on a journey that wasn’t short of twists and unexpected turns.

Throughout my journey, I have had almost every medical procedure, test, shot, and medication – all over a span of 10 years. I have undergone multiple biopsies, took hundreds of pills, and had countless injections in the stomach, thighs and buttocks. My husband and I administered shots at an airport, in Disney World, and other public places I cannot even recall. While it was physically and emotionally exhausting, after six cycles of IVF we yielded five healthy embryos.

In 2017, our first attempted embryo transfer surprisingly took, and led to the beautiful birth of our sweet and gentle boy, Dev in 2018. Dev is now 3 years old. He is a bright and creative builder of magnetic tiles and legos; a joyful and entertaining performer (he’s been a newscaster, comedian, and movie producer so far!); and a warm and loving snuggler! Like any parents, we want to give Dev a sibling.

Our only viable option left to have a second child is with you through surrogacy. So here we are, hoping to meet you and to begin a surrogacy journey. I know that this is a lot for anyone to take on, but you are special: our savior, our hero to the two remaining embryos we have left. We would be so grateful, honored, and indebted, if you could go on this journey with us to hopefully give us a second child and give Dev a sibling.

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