Dear Potential Surrogate, 

We are M and J, and we are so happy to meet you. We got married in 2017, gave birth to our son in 2019, and brought our dog into our family in 2020. We love where we live and greatly appreciate everything the city has to offer us both professionally and personally and the life we’ve been able to create here for our son and hopefully a second child.

The three of us (and our dog) are a tight-knit family. We have dinner together every night after school/work and spend almost all our weekends together – shopping at the grocery store, attending our son’s activities and sports, putting together puzzles and playing board games, swimming, biking/scootering around the neighborhood, checking books out of the library, etc. Additionally, M enjoys yoga and J enjoys watching professional sports and reading.

We usually eat at home with our son Sunday through Friday nights. Often on Saturday nights, we will take our son out to a restaurant for an early dinner. We love trying the many new restaurants in our town – including all the tacos and barbecue the city is known for. Our favorite cuisines are Italian and Asian.

We both come from families with siblings – J has a sister and M has two sisters and a brother. We’ve both always wanted at least two kids. M especially realized the value of siblings in her early 20s after she lost her mother to cancer. Our son loves spending time with all of his 11 first cousins that live across the country, but we’d love for him to have a sibling as well. We were fortunate to conceive our now 5 year old son without assistance. We had one missed miscarriage before him but otherwise it was a relatively quick and seamless process.

Conceiving a second child has not been as easy. We began trying for a second in early 2021. After 7 months of trying we did end up conceiving on our own in late 2021, but found out quickly that it was a molar pregnancy without a heartbeat. The OB performed a D&C, but perforated M’s uterus during the procedure. We realized this a few hours after the D&C when M passed out twice at home and was taken to the ER in an ambulance. The OB and hospital staff performed emergency surgery to cauterize her uterus and gave M two blood transfusions. The next few months the OB monitored M’s HCG levels to ensure they went down to zero, which would indicate no molar tissue left, however, they did not go down as expected. We were then referred to a gynecological oncologist who took over M’s care. The oncologist performed a second D&C and administered months of methotrexate injections, which finally brought M’s levels down to zero by late 2022.

The oncologist then said M would have to refrain from pregnancy for a year in order to make sure the molar tissue did not regrow, but allowed her to complete egg retrievals during that time, which resulted in 3 genetically tested embryos. Once the oncologist cleared M for pregnancy, we discovered that M’s uterine lining would not grow to the thickness needed for a successful embryo transfer, presumably due to the uterine trauma and/or the large amounts of methotrexate taken. We’d love to find a surrogate to transfer one of our embryos to so that we can give our son a biological sibling.

We are looking for a surrogate who is kind, caring, honest, reliable, and calm. We are open to the level of contact she is comfortable with during the pregnancy. At a minimum, we’d like updates via phone after doctor appointments, but would also be open to organically developing a deeper relationship with the surrogate. We’d like for the surrogate to deliver in a hospital with a NICU, but are open to the surrogate’s desires to have a medicated or unmedicated birth. We plan for both our 5 year old son and any future children to know how all our kids came into the world differently. We will be forever grateful for the role you play in helping us complete our family.

Love,

M + J