Dear Prospective Surrogate,
Hey, we’re L and K and we are so grateful to all of you who are considering becoming surrogates. You are amazing!
A little about us. L, is an avid baker, swimmer and crossword puzzler who makes art when she has time. K loves backpacking in the mountains and all things NBA. Together we love hiking, cooking, our pitbull Tula, and spending as much time in the ocean as possible. We are both laid back and easy going.
K began his career in human rights work before turning to documentary film and eventually commercial video production as a career. L trained as a Clinical Social Worker and spent many years helping families with young children process past traumas, particularly in the foster care system or recent immigrants. Now she has a private mental health therapy practice focused on supporting new mothers.
We met while both living in California and connected on a dating app looking for other Jewish singles. A number of amazing coincidences had us both quickly convinced that we were meant to be together. Our motto from the start was “embrace the adventure” but we never realized quite what that would mean. Within a few months we were engaged and a wedding date set. Since we were both in our mid to late 30s and had dreams of a large family, we planned to start a family right after our wedding.
During our honeymoon, everything changed. L noticed a bump under the skin on her thigh and knew that the Melanoma she had battled 6 years prior was back. Tests upon our return confirmed Stage 3 cancer and L immediately had to begin a new type of chemotherapy. The drug’s effect on her fertility was unknown so on the doctor’s advice we quickly went through the process of embryo creation. Laila did treatment for a year and then waited for another year for the drugs to completely leave her system and there to be no signs of cancer on her PET scans.
Two years after our wedding, we said some prayers and set some intentions, and almost immediately became pregnant naturally. Shilo was born in June 2020 in Oakland, CA in the midst of the pandemic and was in so many ways a miracle baby.
While L was pregnant, she couldn’t have any PET scans which would have exposed the baby to radiation. A few months after Shilo was born, L had her first scan in a year: the cancer was back. We were devastated.
L eventually had surgery to remove the mass, involving her only night away from Shilo and a painful recovery. The plan was to start a two year long round of treatment with a new combination of drugs. We quickly made the decision that treatment with a newborn and away from family was too much to handle on our own. Within 3 weeks we had packed up our things and moved to Atlanta to live with L’s parents and be near her two older sisters and their families.
More than two years later, L has completed her treatment and is cancer free with a great long term outlook and a multitude of new treatments coming available should the cancer return. However, the doctors have advised against attempting another natural pregnancy because of the unknown effects of the chemotherapy on fertility and the possibility that the pregnancy may have caused the previous recurrence and could do so again. Rather than risk that, we are turning to surrogacy as a safe and healthy way to have a second child.
In truth, we are so grateful for Shilo and in the grand scheme of things, if he was our only child, we would be content. But for Shilo’s sake and for L’s, we would like to have one more miracle child and we are looking for the kind soul who will help us do that and “embrace the adventure.”
K, L & Shilo