Dear Prospective Surrogate,
Thank you for being here, for being so selfless, and for reading our story. Like most people pursuing surrogacy, we never thought we would be here. We were blessed with one beautiful baby girl in May of 2020 that I was able to carry to full term. Unfortunately, my pregnancy completely disabled me for almost 1 year. I suffered from severe pelvic girdle pain and pelvic instability during and after pregnancy. This means that the ligament system holding my pelvis together became too loose to support the weight of myself and my growing baby. I was in unrelenting, excruciating pain for months and had to use a walker or a wheelchair from 26 weeks pregnant to 3 months postpartum.
During my pregnancy, I could not dress myself, bathe on my own, or walk without using a walker due to pelvic instability and severe pain. I could not lay down flat or on my side so I had to sleep in a recliner and then a hospital bed that we rented. I had to have a C-section due to my physical condition. My husband and I were hopeful that after our daughter was born, that my pain and disability would improve. Unfortunately, I could not even lift my legs after birth. I had to accept the fact that I would have a long road to full recovery. It took months of physical therapy to be able to walk with a cane instead of a walker. At 4 months postpartum, I could finally climb stairs again. I was unable to lift or carry my baby until she was 3 or 4 months old.
My husband excelled at his role as a new dad, having to do more for a newborn than the average new dad. As disabled as I was postpartum, my husband had a newborn and a wife to take care of. My mother and my sister also helped us take care of our baby. I missed out on a normal experience with my newborn. I wanted so badly to pick her up by myself when she needed me. The opportunity to pursue surrogacy to have another child is a gift I will forever be thankful for. A second chance at this is more than I could ever ask for.
My situation was rare and doctors did not know how to help me. I had to see several doctors and physical therapists to finally get answers. I have improved tremendously and I continue to get better each day. I am so thankful for the things I am able to do now. It has taken 2 years of physical therapy for me to regain muscle strength. I have been told that another pregnancy could possibly disable me for life and it could be even worse than the first time due to my hypermobile pelvic joints. So I have had to come to terms with the fact that my body cannot carry another pregnancy.
I stand amazed that there are people such as yourself who are willing to bring a child into the world for someone else. You would be giving the greatest gift I could ever imagine. It is the chance for us to raise a newborn together as mom and dad; a chance for me to hold and comfort my newborn baby without being in excruciating pain; the chance for me to carry my infant in my arms; the chance for me to play on the ground with my infant and watch them do tummy time; the chance for me to be with my newborn in a way that I missed out on with my first. We do not take this gift for granted. We promise to be supportive, caring, and appreciative along every step of this journey together.
Your gift goes further than giving us another child. You would be giving our daughter a sibling to grow up with, our parents another grandchild, our siblings another niece or nephew, another cousin to add to the family tree. You are giving more love, more life to our entire family. Our first pregnancy was the biggest challenge we have ever faced and our marriage is stronger for it. We have a strong testimony of how God carried us through the hardest times in our lives. We have a loving, supportive family and we are all ready to love another precious baby. If you feel it in your heart that we are the family you want to help, we look forward to meeting you and cannot wait to begin this journey with you.
With Overwhelming Gratitude,
H and J