Dear Prospective Surrogate,

Hi! We are R and E, married for 7 years and together for over 8 (it was love at first sight, as cliché as that may be!). We’ve lived in Durham, NC for the past 4.5 years, but have also lived in Philadelphia and Boston over the course of our relationship. We have an incredible community of friends and family, and as long-time aspiring Dads we absolutely cannot wait to introduce them to our first child. 

We’re so excited to meet you and so grateful you would consider us as we look to make our family building dreams a reality. We are beyond excited to start this special journey and relationship together.

About us as individuals:

R: 

I’ve always been an extremely driven individual and building a successful career in healthcare marketing was my main focus until fairly recently; now, I equally value spending time with Elias, hanging out with friends and family, or curling up with a good book at home. I currently work in marketing and product management for a large women’s health company, which is part of what led us to pursuing surrogacy. A constant learner, I’ve always been super curious and have obtained two master’s degrees while working full-time. I’m also a very creative individual — I minored in Studio Art in college, am an avid writer, and also lead a large innovation practice at my company.

As far as hobbies, I serve as the Commissioner of Stonewall Sports Raleigh, an LGBTQIA+ community sports league where I also play kickball, dodgeball, tennis, and sand volleyball, among other sports (although I plan to step back completely once a baby is on the way!). I’m also an avid runner and have completed 3 marathons, including the New York City marathon, where I ran with RESOLVE: the National Infertility Association. I absolutely love traveling, preferably anywhere involving beaches or wineries, and some favorite spots include Cabo, Miami, Carolina Beach, and San Francisco/Napa Valley. I’m a huge reader and try to read at least 30 books a year — my favorite genres being historical non-fiction and romantic comedy. Two of my favorite books are ‘Unbroken’ by Laura Hillenbrand and ‘Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow’ by Gabrielle Zevin.

I grew up about 20 miles from New York City in a small town called Nyack, NY, right on the Hudson River. My parents divorced when I was 4 and I was raised by a single mom, my grandmother, and my great aunt. It was like having 3 moms, and it led me to my passion for women’s health advocacy. I have an older brother, who has been married to his soulmate for the past 17 years. They have 3 incredible children, and I’m their favorite uncle. When I was 16, my mom and I moved to Baltimore, MD. Moving was hard, but I made life-long best friends at my new school, and they are still a huge part of my life today. When I was 26, my dad passed away unexpectedly. That was really tough, and I think about him every day. Growing up with a small family has contributed to my desire to build a family through surrogacy and have a child who is related to me, although E and I have talked about having a mix of biological and adopted children.

Personality-wise, people would describe me as motivated, goal-oriented, caring, funny, and goofy. I’m the life-of-the-party, but I’m always making sure everyone in the room feels included and is having a good time. I’m also a borderline perfectionist, but have been learning how to let go and trust the process.

I’ve wanted to be a father for as long as I can remember. I used to volunteer in the nursery at my church, and from the moment I met my first niece, I just knew I needed to become a dad one day. I’ve worked hard to build the life I didn’t have as a child, and I want nothing more than to share this life with my children. 

E:

Family has always been at the center of my life and has shaped who I am in so many ways. I grew up in a blended family, with an older sister from my father’s side and a younger brother and sister from my mom and stepfather. This dynamic was both unique and enriching—I was the youngest in my dad’s family and the oldest in my mom’s, which gave me the best of both worlds. I learned what it meant to be nurtured as the “baby” and to take on a leadership role as the “big brother.” Growing up this way taught me that families, no matter how they come together, hold so much love, and it’s one of the reasons I’m so excited to build a family of my own.

If I’m being honest, I’ve always been a bit of a mama’s boy. My mom and I have a special bond, and we talk all the time—so much that it’s become a running joke. But her love and support have been a constant in my life, and I wouldn’t trade that connection for anything. My relationships with my siblings are equally important, and they’ve been a source of laughter, growth, and grounding over the years.

My journey has always been guided by a love of connection and understanding. I started my career in international higher education, helping students explore new opportunities and cultural experiences. Over time, I realized my passion for helping others went even deeper, which led me to my current work in mental health and couples therapy. Supporting others as they navigate life’s challenges and relationships is incredibly rewarding, and I dream of one day opening my own private practice to continue this meaningful work.

I’ve also been shaped by the places I’ve called home—Arizona and North Carolina during my childhood, and later New Orleans, Philadelphia, Boston, Paris, Mexico City, and Shanghai. Each place has given me new perspectives and deepened my appreciation for diversity and connection. Traveling is one of my greatest joys, and one of my favorite trips was to Cambodia with R. I’m fluent in French and conversational in Spanish, which adds richness to the experiences I have while exploring new cultures.

At home, I find happiness in the little things. I’ve always been an animal lover, and our pets—our cats, dogs, and fish—are a huge part of our family. I enjoy keeping our home clean and organized; it’s my way of creating a peaceful, welcoming space for us and the people we love to host. We’ve found a balance in our lives that works well for us, and I’m so proud of the life we’ve built together.

I’m a mix of chatty and shy—it takes me a little time to warm up to new people, but once I do, I’m incredibly loyal and invested in the relationships I build. I’m thoughtful, a good listener, and someone who values deep connections with others. These qualities, along with my upbringing by a hardworking single mom, have instilled in me a deep sense of gratitude and a belief in the importance of kindness and authenticity. I’ve always known I wanted to be a dad, and I’m ready to bring all the love and stability I’ve built into our future family. I can’t wait to share the lessons I’ve learned, the values I hold dear, and the unconditional love that has always been central to my life with our child.

About our Home:

We balance each other perfectly—R is like a golden retriever with his energy and enthusiasm, while E is more like a black cat, calm and introspective (and yes, we laugh about this dynamic all the time!). Our shared love of animals was actually what we bonded over on our very first date, when we half-jokingly planned to buy a ranch or farm in New Mexico. That connection hasn’t faded; in fact, it’s grown stronger as we’ve built our family of fur-babies, which includes our cats, dogs, and even some fish. They’re a huge part of our lives, and we love and care for them like our children.

Our home is truly our happy place, and we’ve worked hard to make it warm, welcoming, and functional for all the different parts of our lives. Since we both work from home (though R travels occasionally), we’ve created a space that allows us to be productive while also being comfortable and relaxing. We both enjoy interior design and love taking on small house projects to make our home even more inviting. Cleanliness is really important to us, and we’ve nailed down our roles—R loves to cook (he was almost cast on a reality TV cooking show!) and E loves to clean, so it works out perfectly. We love to entertain, whether it’s hosting out-of-town friends or organizing one of our legendary Friendsgivings. And when the holidays roll around, we go all out with decorating to make everything feel magical and festive.

Family is at the core of who we are. We feel so lucky to have a strong “chosen family” here in North Carolina and across the country. E’s dad lives just down the street, his mom is in Virginia Beach, and R’s family is based in Baltimore. Growing up, we were both raised by single moms who taught us the value of hard work and gratitude. That experience shaped who we are today and deepened our desire to create a loving, supportive home for our own children.

We’ve always shared a love of travel, and one of the things we’re most excited about is showing our future children the world and introducing them to new cultures and languages. It’s also incredibly important to us that our children are connected to their roots. Our egg donor is E’s best friend’s younger sister, someone we’ve known and trusted for years. E’s best friend has been in his life for over 20 years, and both she and her sister will remain a part of our children’s lives, giving them a strong connection to their biological mother.

Thank you so much for considering us as part of your surrogacy journey. Becoming fathers has been a dream for both of us, and we can’t fully express how much this opportunity means to us. Your selflessness and strength inspire us, and we’re so grateful for the chance to begin this journey with you. You would be giving us the most precious gift imaginable, and we are ready to dedicate our hearts, love, and energy to building a beautiful life for our future child. Thank you for helping us take this incredible step toward becoming the family we’ve always dreamed of.

Love,

R & E