Dear Prospective Surrogate,

Thank you for your interest in helping me, and for taking time to learn more about me! 

I am part of a close-knit family that I both playfully and seriously refer to as “The Village.” I grew up as an only child in the suburbs of New York but I never felt lonely. In addition to traditional family, I have a huge extended family that consists of non-blood relatives like god-siblings, cousins, godparents and plenty of Aunties and Uncles. These are the people who have been in my life practically since I was born and with whom I spend every holiday. They are my family and I make it home for every major (and most minor) family events. Having learned the lesson early that you can choose your family bonds, I also have a group of girlfriends who are like sisters. In many ways, they are part of my village too. I am blessed to have such love, friendship, and support.

I love most activities that allow me to be outdoors in the sun. When the weather is nice, you can find me hiking, biking, kayaking, sailing, playing tennis, at an outdoor music concert, or on a spontaneous road trip to the beach. Regardless of location, it’s not uncommon to see me practically dancing down the street to a Spotify playlist. When the weather is less accommodating, I can often be found indulging my near Netflix addiction. (I tend to choose movies that combine sci-fi, fantasy, love stories, and adventures.) It’s also a time when I’m likely planning my next vacation. I’m committed to work-life balance and I love to travel. I’ve been to nearly every continent with my favorite trips, not surprisingly, being to warm weather places with lots of outdoor activities. Add cultural exploration and yummy food to the mix and I’m in my personal heaven.

Growing up, I imagined that one day I would get married, have children and live happily ever after. Unfortunately, I am still waiting for that particular dream to come true. I have not found the right man to spend my life with, someone who would be a great life partner for me, and an amazing father to a child. I did try to wait for this imagined future, and then ultimately decided to pursue motherhood alone. 

I tried again and again. After multiple IVF attempts, I finally became pregnant.  I suffered a miscarriage while sailing on waters that were far bumpier than expected. Years had gone by at this point without success, and so I pursued a second opinion, used a new protocol, and created a PGS normal, high quality embryo on the first attempt. I patiently waited through Covid-related delays. Unfortunately, just when I was ready to implant my miracle embryo, I had a serious medical event. In May 2020, I developed a clot in a blood vessel of my heart, believed to have been caused by a spontaneous coronary artery dissection. It was a freak event, and while I am expected to live a long life, it is not safe for me to be pregnant as pregnancy may cause it to happen again. 

My fertility journey so far has been difficult but I’ve never been ready to quit. My dream of motherhood is too strong. All I can do now is move forward and try one last time for my dream to come true.

I am hoping to find a surrogate who will allow me to share in her pregnancy experience and be her cheerleader. Given the risks of Covid-19, I’m hoping she will allow me to virtually attend OB appointments and be present for key events like the embryo transfer, any appointments allowed, and be a part of the delivery. I want her to know how much I value her gift, and after the birth, I would be happy to stay in touch and send pictures of the baby she brings into the world. I’m open to creating the type of journey my surrogate envisions.

With Love,

J

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